oh so much better

It has been a weird week. Mr. X and I had a serious phone conversation a few nights ago, and he told me he has gone on dates but hates all the girls - because they aren't "me." Hmm, maybe we shouldn't have broken up then you idiot! Onto more pleasant things...

I found the most amazing little cupcake store downtown yesterday, The Cupcake Counter. I highly recommend their pumpkin cupcake - it was the best $3 I have spent in a long time. And you can't do any better than pumpkin cake and cream cheese frosting! The interior is adorable albeit tiny, with a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It made my stressful work day oh so much better.

(Photo from flickr)

pink a cliche

During my awkward middle school years, I was never your typical girly-girl. I didn't count pink as a favorite color, and I hated purple. Even though I was always interested in clothes and fashion, I didn't express it by purchasing typical girl colored items. Even at a tender age I found the color pink a cliche.

"Why do I have to like pink just because I'm a girl? BLUE is my favorite color," I remember thinking to myself.

As a college freshman, my roommate's wacky mother wanted us to get matching bedspreads and put fake flowers in our somewhat dingy dorm room to "brighten things up." Well, I had already chosen my bedspread from Target in a sensible blue and green plaid, only to find out later that it was from the men's collection. Oops. This new roommate obviously decided not to match me on that decision. Turns out we didn't match up on most other decisions either, but that's another story.

What does this have to do with me today? These days I embrace all things that you may think are a womanly cliche, from ruffles to the color purple. But it wasn't until I moved out of my apartment with Mr. X that I started buying home decorations the same way. Mr. X didn't believe in spending money on anything, particularly furniture and home decor. I purchased numerous items for our apartment anyways, but it wasn't without a fight. This time around I have no one to reign me in. It wasn't even planned, but all of a sudden I have a pink lamp by my bedside, a calendar of shoes on my wall, and the most flowery duvet cover you've ever seen, covered in pale pinks, blue, and green. It's time to decorate however I want for once, tacky as it may be. Poster of Robert Pattinson, here I come. Just kidding. Maybe.

(Photo from flickr)

and very slowly

Photo from flickr

I've been contemplating doing something major for myself. Just for me. I think I found it - a 1/2 marathon at the beginning of April. I do have a confession though. Right now I can only run about 2 miles on a treadmill, and very slowly. Today I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the elliptical and I am exhausted. The farthest I have ever run is 7 miles, which was last spring before the hot summer made me lazy. Should I do this? Probably not. But I need to commit to something good for ME for once. Here goes?

the length of

Twenty six miles is the length of a marathon (okay, technically 26.2).

The 26th amendment to the constitution set the national voting age at 18 to protect our rights. Ironically it was proposed on my birthday, all but a few hundred years before.

Wikipedia just informed me that 26 is the number of spacetime dimensions in some kind of string theory. What? It's also the number of sides in a rhombicuboctahedron.

Confused yet?

Twenty-six is my age. It is also the age at which the man who I thought was the love of my life told me he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married and that we needed to be apart, for "awhile," after almost five years together. Perhaps never to get back together again, or to find ourselves married to each other at some point down the road. He told me those are the options. But what about what I want?

This is my journey to find myself again, to discover what I want. Thanks for reading.